I now pronounce you man and pillow... hang on, what?

I am fuming.

Yes, I really am. Why? Because this word has gone mental. So we all know that the majority of the world will not allow Gay Marriage, right? Take a look at this article...

That article was no April Fool. People are allowed to marry pillows, yet gays can't? What?

This world is actually going mad. You should know that I believe that love is love no matter what the gender, but come on, marrying a PILLOW? Fu- is he on something? There's people willing to let a pillow waltz down the isle, yet if two gays who are in love want to get married, it's a big fat no? Can someone please point out the sense in this to me cause I can see none.

Other things people have married are cartoon characters, dead people and even animals. Come on, how the hell is that normal? And how unfair is it? You hear all these "excuses" about if gays marry, there will be less babies, etc. so marrying Princess Peach and Honeymooning with a pillow will increase the amount of babies will it?

"Being gay is unnatural" oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know I had to be sexually and romantically attracted to an object or something that doesn't have a pulse. Seriously, this world is seriously effed up if there are people in power in this world that are letting people marry objects that can't even breathe. How screwed up is that? It's like it's actually taking the piss out of the gays because they can't marry but everything and everyone else can.

Whoever came up with this load of bullshit needs their heads tested because I have never heard or read such bollocks in my life.

I'm going to shut up now because I'm highly irritated at this topic and I should be getting on with other things. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to propose to a spoon.

Bleurgh

Hi...

So, I've just come back from hospital and I'm using my blog to tell the people who are asking about me what's up.

If you've seen my Facebook and Twitter lately, you'll have seen me complaining about being in pain. I've been having pains in my stomach all week and tonight they got really bad. I was crying in pain. My mother thought that enough was enough so she phoned the out of hours department of the hospital and the doctor phoned back to say for me to go down. We went down and waited until I was called. He examined me, but couldn't do it properly as I was so ticklish. When he prodded my stomach I literally swung for him, but my mother grabbed my hand to hold it- what do you expect when you prod someone's stomach that hard? Especially when it's already in pain.

First of all he thought it was appendicitis [I was freaking out at this point] but after a few tests, it showed up as a water infection. Thankfully. He's put me on antibiotics and should I get worse, I need to be taken to A&E. If I don't start clearing up within 3 days, I have to go to my GP. Fun.

So, as you can see, 2O12 is turning out to be the year that I'm almost always ill for. Wheeee.

Yeah, so thanks for your concerns, I am still in pain [the prodding my stomach didn't help] so I'm just gonna chillax and all that. I have my college interview tomorrow so I'm gonna do some work for that- I won't sleep much tonight- garunteed.


See ya x

Where Next?

Holaaaa...

I don't know why, but people are nagging me about my future. It's really annoying. "Where do you plan to go after college?" Dude, I haven't even been accepted yet, chill. I've not even finished my exams. I'm not that worried about my exams. It's only Maths I'm concerned about, but if I fail that, I get to resit, so it's all good. I don't mean to sound vain or stuck up, but I think I'll get a C in the other exams since I know what I'm doing.

Despite not liking people asking me where I want to go next, I will admit, I have been looking online for inspiration. I suppose it's nice to have some sort of idea, but when people ask me, they expect me to know exactly what I want to do. Well, I don't. So there. I know I want a career in journalism or writing somehow. I just don't know what exact job. It's easy to say "I want to be a nurse, I want to be a lawyer" or whatever, but I suppose in the industry I want to pursue a career in isn't that easy. And so, no, I have no idea what it is I'd like to do.

I've been working on my portfolio all week, adding things to it. Photos, pieces of writing, all that. I'm rattling my brains trying to remember anything and everything I've done in order for me to put everything useful in there. I have my college interview this Thursday so I'm really hoping to get a place. Fingers crossed.

Anyway, enough of education. I'm working on a new project for Inspire. It's about bullying. Fancy taking part? Go check the page out. I'm applying for funding for the project for us to be able to do some more things. It'd be good to get Inspire to be something more than just an idea. I'd like to make a difference- I'd like to let people have their say and let them inspire others. After all, that's the whole idea of it. After the success of  Love Me For Who I Am, I've been inspired myself to inspire others. I've said the word "inspire" too much, haven't I? Oh well.

After listening to Billy Ray Cyrus, Dolly Parton and other songs tonight, I've decided I want to have a cowboy themed 18th birthday party. I've always liked the idea. I guess it's cause I've recently found out that Dolly Parton's Dixie Stampede is no longer in Orlando, Florida. Man, that night was awesome. If you've been to one of the shows, you know what I'm on about. If not, Google/YouTube it. It is so much fun. Anyway, yeah I'd like that theme for my 18th. I haven't even turned 17 yet so I really need to [pardon the pun] slow my horses. No idea what to do for my 17th. My mother said "BBQ in the garden." Yeah... we live in Wales, where it's almost always raining...Can't see that happening. But who knows?

I have nothing else worthy of discussing...

So yeah... x

Keeping it Up

Basically, this is just an update for the Race For Life prep and all that.

First of all, a big big thank you to all those who have sponsored me so far. If you would like to sponsor me and don't know how, just click here. Or, if you're in the UK, text JAZZ54 and your amount to 7OO7O. 

Anyway, I had my pack sent to me the other day. Very excited. I've also been training with my mother and Mavis [my dog] has also been joining us. I think she's enjoying it. Dalmatians are lonely dogs so she loves company. But not at 1am. I just went down to get a drink and I went to hug her. She grumbled. Not growled, grumbled. She never growls at us. She's too lovable. 

Moving on. I've been putting a playlist together for me to listen to in order to keep me motivated. So far on the list I have:-

1. Just Stand Up- Various Artists
2. Born This Way- Lady Gaga
3. Celebrate You- Corbin Bleu 
4. Firework- Katy Perry
5. I Gotta Feeling- Black Eyed Peas
6. Just Like We Dreamed It- Disneyland Paris
7. Who Says- Selena Gomez
8. The Climb- Miley Cyrus
9. Bohemian Rapsody- Queen
10. Skyscraper- Demi Lovato
11. Killing in the Name- Rage Against the Machine
12. Sweet Child O'Mine- Guns & Roses
13. Love Me For Who I Am- Nick Jonas and the Administration
14. Tears In Heaven- Luke Williams [My bro. Just to hear him singing, it makes me think "If he can go ahead and work on his ambitions and goals, then so can I!]

Not all inspirational, I know, but some are just songs I like to listen to while I'm on the go. So, I'm still in the spirit of doing the race and I'm really looking forward to it. 

Not really been up to much. Just revision, sleeping, revision and all that. Went out today for a Wicid meeting. Oh yeah, by the way, have a look at this? It's a CLICvlog. Martyn, Portia and I are in one. I don't say that much. I just look a twit with an a but there we go. 

                        

So remember, peeps, which one is your and which one is you're. You're an idiot if your going to ignore this, because it's important you know your you're and your. Get me? I will admit, in primary school, it did take me a little getting used to, and, of course, I tend to make the odd mistake, but still, that's accidental and if I notice the mistake I will correct myself. So, start taking more notice with your you're and your.

My dad is going away for two weeks on Thursday. I'm really going to miss him. I know I don't see him everyday as he doesn't live with me, but I miss the phone calls and when I do get to see him, which is every week. He's only just come back from Barcelona, but now he's going to stay with his brother, my Uncle Norman, in his house in Tenerife. Lucky for some. 

Well... I don't have much else to say, really. So here are some pics of today.

My arms look massive -_-

Of course we're not posers...

Martyn let me wear his glasses. They're awesome.

Me and Ashley 

So yeah... that's about it really...

Norning. x

I don't have a denial problem... Wait...

This blog is going to be based on denial. I don't know why, but I tend to deny things a lot- to myself mainly.

I've been doing it for as long as I remember. My earliest memory is when I was about 3. My gran's dog, Marley, passed away peacefully in her sleep. I kept repeating "she isn't dead, she's sleeping. She isn't dead. I know she isn't." Obviously, she was, but I just refused to believe it.

I have been doing this all my life now- I denied needing glasses, I just said I had two eye infections causing me to have blury vision.  I denied having migraines, I just said I felt ill. I denied my anxiety, I said I just worried too much. I even denied winning awards such as CLICer of the Year 2011 (not bragging, just an example) People thought I was joking when I said "there's some mistake here. I know it." but I wasn't. I genuinely thought there was a mistake and denied that it happened.

Last year, I denied two big things in my life- one lasting for six months. I won't say what they are but I think denying them made me ill in the end. I kept telling myself over and over that those things weren't true and that it was all in my head- they weren't. When my friend made me realise that they were true, I broke down crying- I didn't want to believe it but they were true. There was no hiding them.

I don;t know why I do this, but do. I wish I knew why. I don't understand why I do it. I'm not aware of anyone else who does it. Maybe it's a bad habit I've picked up from a very early age?

It's not like I lie about the things I deny, I just don't believe them myself. It's weird and I wish I knew what makes me do it. Obviously, I don't deny everything- If I did, I'd deny this problem.

I'm sick of the word deny now.

Laters x

End of Another Chapter

Hey there,

First of all, Happy Star Wars day. Not a massive fan of the films myself, but here's something for you...

Anyway, it's over. I'm done. No, not my life, though that's going down hill right now. I'm talking about Year 11 and my school life in general. Well, minus the exams. Yeah, my key worker, Cath, has let me finish early as now I have finished BTEC Science- which, I passed *Insert chuffed face here*- there's only revision for me to do, which I can do at home. I feel sorry for the other kids... they've had their study leave pushed back to the 17th May. Unfair, considering the fact that they sent letters out saying the leave was the 1Oth. I only have.... umm... 6 exams I think? Two English, Two Maths [yuck], RE and Media Studies. Can't wait to get them over with now. 

I also applied for two more courses in college; AS English and AS Media Studies. Whee. I have to be in full time education, apparently. Bleugh. Well, looking on the bright side, it will only be the subjects I like... unless I fail GCSE Maths... then I have to resit it. I don't want to resit at all. No. No, thank you. Ever since I can remember, Maths and I have never ever ever got on. I'm going to be revising for that. Well, I'll be revising for all of them, but I'll be working hard on Maths. 

To be honest, I do have some good memories in that school. Such as this...

I'm in the front row in purple. That was like my favorite shirt until the washing machine
bit holes in it -_-

Macbeth, Year 1O. We were in the Shakespeare's School Festival and it was so fun. I played a soldior. There were some trailers made for it which you can see here, here and here. I loved the dressing room, it was like our hangout for the day of the show. We were in the Millennium Centre from early hours until late at night, though, and we had to keep changing all the time in and out of our costumes, but it was fun.   

I can't remember much else I enjoyed. I did enjoy film making every Friday after school, but it wasn't academic, it was extra curriculum, so it doesn't count. Oh, and there was our year 9 production of Scrooge. I was an Urchin.

Me with David as Scrooge

Emily, Demi and Me! Scuse the crappiness of this pic... and me
looking a douche.

If I had to give any advice to kids starting secondary school, it would be to hang in there. You might like it, you might not. I personally didn't, but as long as you find something to do like an after school club or a hobby outside of school, do your best in your subjects, try and be friends with everyone [hard, I know. There are a lot of dick heads, but just try.] and just struggle through. Year 7 isn't all that important. I thought it was, but I was wrong. That's not me saying not to put any effort in, you should, but just remember, you're only in the first year. You'll settle in and get used to it. 

My cousin will be starting my school in 2O13. I don't know who to be more sorry for- him cause of the school, or the school cause of him. I'll probably end up going to see him in any shows he's in. So much for my freedom, then. Oh well, they can't do anything to me then so Ha. Hahahaha. *ahem*. I'm sure he'll be fine. He's a strong boy and he can be bloody chopsy when he wants to be Speaking of him, it's his tenth birthday a week today... I think? It's deffo next week. I'll probably be going to his birthday party. I can't believe he's ten already. I remember seeing him for the first time when I was nearly seven. He was just an innocent little baby in his carrier thingy and so quiet... now look what he's turned into! Nah, I love him, though, even if he can be a pest. 

Not quite sure what I'll be doing inbetween studying for my exams. I want something to do. I can't cope with sitting in the house all day, revising. God no. I need to get out. I need to be free. I'm getting bored of being in the house now. I want to get out. Nothing to do, though. Any ideas, please let me know.

Right, I'm going. I think I might go to sleep... 

Until next time... x